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Michael's humour - Michael you don't' know

Description here scenes and dialuouge are real happening, they are from fans story and his friends and also from other sources as: unauthorize Michael's interviews and La Toya's from beginning 80'; Making of Thriller itc. I wish you enjoy reading and meeting Michael you did't know. Have fun!:D

-"I don't think I've ever done an interview outside with trees and bushes watching me."
- MJ sings: "Dancing on the clouds....soaring up sooooo high....watch me now....watch me flyyyyyyyyyyyyy...I'm peter pannnn....I can do anything....."
- LaToya said it was getting cold outside and he said something like "how can you say its cold. It's not cold...It's Magic"
- when MJ asks Latoya about her dreams and she thinks he means the horrible nightmares she's had, and MJ goes [nasal voice] "I've got an idiot for a sister, folks!"
- MJ to Bill Bray: "Would you be quiet you fat headed rascal."
-(...) sitting in front of the water fountain.
-Latoya: "Michael I could kill you, I'm soaked... are you wet?"
-Michael: {in a cheeky voice} "Of course honey"

1) Ola Ray from Making Of Thriller: "He's a perfectionist for sure, but he was always very friendly with the dancers and the crew. He's a practical joker. He kept saying, 'I can't wait until I do the werewolf scenes so I can chase you."

2) In an interview during the Bad era, an interviewer asked him about the spoken intro to IJCSLY, and he answered: "I was in bed when I did that" and started giggling.

While some interview from era Bad. Man ask MJ abouto intro from IJCSLY

I just want to lay next to you for a while
You look so beautiful tonight,
your eyes are so lovely,
your mouth is so sweet.
A lot of people misunderstand me,
that because they don't know me at all.
I just want to touch you and hold you,
I need you, God I need you.
I love you so much.

3) from PHM.. Mac pushed MJ in the swimming pool.. and Mike was like.. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you Mac!" LOL!

4) Virgin signing moment. He was signing some girl's autograph, and this girl gave him a ring. And Oblivious Michael was all like "thank you" and he put the ring on And the girl was saying SOMETHING to him all while she was screaming and crying, and the whole time MJ was like "What? What? Pardon?" After the girl was gone, he asked someone what was she saying. And someone told him "She asked u to marry her."
Then MJ was like "Oooooohhhh..." And went on signing autographs as if nothing happened. Some guy said, "Well you DID put on the ring Michael." After he signed this other fan's CD and gave it to him, after he told the fan "thank you" and all that, and he walked away he shouted "Don't forget to come to the wedding!!!"

The part in PHM where he's practicing his lines for Thriller and he asks his friend, who's recording all of this, if he has a good shot of him. And is friend is all "I dont know" and Michael keeps asking what can he see and when he finds out that his friend has been shooting him too up close Mike says "Whatta schmuck.."

2) from the MD,
Michael was asked what his occupation by the prosecutor...and he just ramble a whole list of stuff,"Singer, songwriter, producer, dancer, writer, ect..." He kept listing. Then he stopped. The prosecutor started to ask another question, then he interrupted and said "...actor." And then he smiled The prosecutor thought he was done lol.

and there's this Japanese interview that he did, and he starts giggling sometimes in the middle of the interview.. and can't stop! he was having a laughing fit or something, and every time he would start laughin, the camera guys would say "cut" and they would start over.. and EVERY time they would start a new shot Michael would start laughing again..and i dont' know what the hell he could have been laughin at for so long.. must have been something hilarious though!

Michael with open zipper in MSG!
OMG!!! Um.....that was sooo funny. And you even saw the progression. He's worn these sexy tight leather pants. The first button snap is open when he gets in the car....then another one opens as he walks down the carpet....then they are all open and then the pants look like they are gonna fall off !!! POOR THING!!! Imagine when he got inside and saw it- he'd be like how long has it been like that???
But it always happens to him ...or maybe he does it on purpose ....like in the What More Can I give video clip. There was a slip of the fly.....in Hawaii HIStory tour..(while watching some hawaiian girls dance) ---> there was slip there.

2) part of Prime Time interview z 1995
Diane: One more question I wanna make sure I ask. Are you going to sing together?
Lisa: No.
Diane: The two of you.
Michael: (breaks into song) I would love to sing with you...would you like to sing with me?
Lisa: (shaking head) Mmm, mmm.
Diane: You don't sing?
Lisa: I don't sing? I, I did sing. If I wanted it...I mean I'm not gonna marry someone for a recording career, just to clear that up as well. Um...(Michael makes bunny ears behind her head)
Michael: What? (laughs) (Lisa pokes him in the chest) Stop!
Lisa: Um...
Diane: I'm gonna let the two of you dupe this out over here. We'll take a break and we'll come back.
Lisa: (to Michael) Grrr!
(Commercial Break)

Lawyer Miller alleged that the star never even rehearsed for the gigs.
"I conceptualise everything, " said Jackson. "I visualise what I want the concert to look like. "I stand in front of a mirror in my bathroom and try out the dance moves. It's hard work."
... Miller asked Jackson if "all the choreographers, technicians, backing singers and band" were in his bathroom for the rehearsal.
Jackson said: "I'm not sure. I don't want to guess."

mike is just hell a cute. he'll get jealous if u ask to speak to his mother and not to him.
b/c i had already gotten two autographs from him so when i went up to his car (after they reg. the situation) i wanted his mother to sign the picture. i was busy talking to randy and then i look over and mj's signing the picture and im like 'mike, give it to your mother' and he was all like 'aww hell naw...mommy here'
b/c we all know how big that man signs his siggy. poor katherine had a little spot in the corner.

if he stops at the red light, he'll roll the window down and say hello. thankfully, it went to red and he rolled it down.
we're like "MJ WE LOVE U! HEY KATHERINE! HIIIII" then all of a sudden a big ass greyhound bus comes from nowhere and almost takes us out. so we move down so mj can see we're okay and the WHOLE CAR IS BURSTING W/ LAUGHTER. THEY WERE LAUGHING AT OUR ASSES!

I remember when Michael was in Monaco for the world music awards, and he received about trhree or four awards. Prince Albert was at the stage to present them to him, so he received them, then turning to Prince Albert asking him, could you hold these for me? They are kind of heavy. The whole audience busted into laughter.

Hey, do you guys remember this?
In December 2002, Michael received a special Billboard Award commemorating the 20th Anniversary of Thriller. He accepted his award via live satellite from Neverland. Since Chris Tucker was the presenter, he was with Michael at Neverland. They both were in Michael's theater. After Michael received the special award, Cedric The Entertainer, who was hosting the award show, brought Mike and Chris back onto the large screen following a commercial break. He told Michael he wanted to ask him a question, so Mike was like, "okay." Then, the audience at the award show got really quiet. While Michael was waiting for Cedric to ask him the question, he had this serious look on his face. It's like he was saying, "Cedric, I hope you're not going to ask me anything inappropriate." Anyway, Cedric ended up asking Michael about Bubbles. He said, "Where's Bubbles at?! Where's the monkey, man?!" Michael put on this BIG BEAUTIFUL SMILE ()...then he started blushing ()...then he said, "He's at Chris Tucker's house!"
It was soooo funny!! Everyone at the Billboard Awards started cracking up! Chris looked at Michael like () and like he was saying "Whatchu mean he's at my house?!" Then, he started laughing because he wasn't expecting that. And Michael started giggling. It was so cute. He and Chris act silly when they're together.

MJ:"It hurts to be mobbed. Not mentally, but physically. Your body feels like a noodle, being pulled by ten different people. They don't realize it. They love you so much they just want a part of you. They say, 'I gotta get a peice of this guy, if it's his shirt, his hair, his face, anything.' There are fans who actually have pieces of my hair. I could go to England right now, and they'd show me and say, 'This is your hair from 3 years ago.' I'd say, 'Oh my gosh.' And it's sitting in their wallet. They collect hair."

from Speech at Oxford University(2001)
"I am humbled to be lecturing in a place that has previously been filled by such notable figures as Mother Theresa, Albert Einstein, Ronald Reagan, Robert Kennedy and Malcolm X. I've even heard that Kermit the Frog has made an appearance here, and I've always felt a kinship with Kermit's message that it's not easy being green. I'm sure he didn't find it any easier being up here than I do!"

There is a really funny clip of Michael at some Italian award show, it was the MJ and Friends thing with Pavarotti.
Michael does not have a clue at whats going on, he doesnt understand when he is supposed to speak, he's looking around and at people for some sort of clue. And then a fan tries to approach the stage for an autograph, and Michael being Michael, says yeah, come on up. Of course, the hosts are like No!!!! and then security start jumping around as more and more fans try to get to the stage.

lol one thing got into my mind!
in 2002 when i was in Berlin, he was teasing us in his window. He was just smiling ...and in one moment he whispered something to someone that was in his room like: " hey you..look at this i show you something"
and he made a robot move in the window for us. Everbody went wild and started screaming. And he started laughing like crazy at us, and indicated to the person in the room like: " lol that is what i was talking about"

There was this one incident during Bad tour rehearsels where MIchael was on stage and it was completley dark and you hear an voice through the loud speakers that says, "Nice to seee ya Mike." And Michael says, "Nice to see you,too. Where ever you are." I thought that was hilarious.

In London 2002 i was able to get once to his car window and i wanted to give him a gift - a simple Disney toy that i bought in the last moment (cause i gave away all my gifts away the other day) and i was hanging at the window with a guy who was telling something to Mike and Mike was just listening and listening and this guy was talking and talking. And i felt pretty stupid cause i didnt know what to say and didnt try to cause of the noise around and i even glanced at Hamid smiling a little sacractically and sitting next to Michael with a little camera and filming. And i was just holding that toy to Mike and he wasnt paying any attention to me. And as i was becoming to fell more and more confused, someone pushed me and the toy dropped into the car. But it was reachable and very near to me being on a banner or something that Mike obviously took previously from a fan. And i reached my hand out to take that toy back to give it to Michael personally and once i took it - it was immediately taken away from me by
Michael who at once turned to me with that look on his face "Don't touch it! That's mine!" I was so, so confused and embarassed about the whole thing at that moment but then i realized how funny it was and laughed about that.

1a) Once while Michael was in a hotel he was talking to some guy and the guy was showing a book to Michael.Michael thought it was nice and everything then out of no where he starts to clean the guys suit (the guy probably had lint and Mike was taking it off). Then another man that was in the room says, "Don't worry he does that all the time."
1b) Oh yeahhhh that was after/before the Bambi awards! Also in that footage, the dude started talking to Bashir (ew) and stuff, and mj all of a sudden just starts dancing. Like they're there carrying conversation and he just starts doing some *small* pop locking. Hilarious. Also in that same footage, Bashir makes a jokingly snide comment and MJ pretends too punch him in the face... I bet now he wished he did.

From LWMJ he drives in his limo with that stupid Bashir in Berlin I guess and one guy fan jumps in front of limo and starts doing Jackson moves on the street !!!!Mike was laughing his ass of.

In the Bashir documentary when they was in Germany and loads of fans were giving him posters one of them asks for a hug and MJ lets her in the car and hugs her, you can then here him whisper 'i'd like to give her more than a hug' and bashir goes 'what?'
Perverted but funny.

As for the Virgin megastore he also asked one girl to show him her navel because she had an earring there... and he hugged her too

4a) In the courthouse: Sneddon shows Michael's girlie magazines and they go like Barely Legal, Hustler, Playboy,etc. (all with young women on the covers) and then he shows OVER 50's (with a woman over 50 on the cover). The court burst out laughing.
4b) Civil court case in 2002: They ask Michael questions about where he was and what he did on a particular day 3 years ago. At each question he answers ;” I don't remember” Then a man gets annoyed and asks ; “Do you remember having memeory problems? ” And Michael goes : “ Not that I recall” The court laughs loud.

1) ...And there is another time where the dancers were trying to mess with him and make him miss a step.( i remember reading an article in KING years ago about how they always do that to Mike) and they added a an extra count in the dance and Michael gets thrown out of the seqeunce, turns his head and tries to catch up!!! heheheheh

Then there was another time when he was doing Billie Jean and some kind of rope swung by while he was performing and he stops and sarcastically goes 'That was interesting'.

I think it was a TV Guide interview....2001? I think. Anyway, during the interview, his kids were in the room. And while MJ was answering questions, Prince is just staring right at Michael, like he had 3 heads or something, for a long time. So Michael said "Stop staring at me." So Prince leaves, and comes back, started staring at him again. Michael, again, is like "Stop staring at me." Like he's all paranoid and stuff And then finally, Prince does it again, and MJ's like "Stop staring, you not making this interview any easier". I dunno I just thought that was just sooooo cute. MJ trying to do an interview and he sees Prince in the corner of his eyes looking like ...lol

)...from an interview that MJ did during The Jackson days.
Michael's driving his Rolls Royce in Los Angeles. He gets pulled over by this policeman who didn't recognize him. The policeman walks up to Michael's window and says, "This looks like it could be a stolen car." And Michael goes, "Is that right? What does a stolen car look like?"
Now, I know Michael wasn't trying to be comical, because the policeman was stereotyping him and he didn't like it.
But man!!

1a) From the deposition, I find this part hilarious:
-"And you don’t uh… do you include common musical phrases in your songs that you write?
MJ: Common musical phrases…
-Do you know what that is?
MJ: Yeah, but I don’t know if YOU know what that means…"

1b) from Mexic_Depo
Judge: "Mr Jackson, just answer the question"
Michael:"I'm just trying to tell her the situation"
Judge: "Just answer the question!"
Michael: "I'm answering the question.."
Judge: "You're not"
Michael:"I'm trying.."
Judge: "You're failing"
Michael: *giggle*

What about at the court case with Narcel Avram where he said he wanted to "create magic"....
Lawyer: What do you mean....magic?
MJ: You know....abra ca dabra!

Michael took Prince michael jr and paris to a rare trip to the movies. he buys them popcorn and drinks then just as they are about to go in prince drops his popcorn all over the floor. a staff worker quickly goes to pick it up and michael goes "no it's ok he's my kid i'll pick up the mess" so michael picks it up. the man working there said" i looked down and there at me my feet was michael jackson on his hands and knees picking up popcorn off the floor, while his 2 children were standing there laughing there heads off ... just another boring day at work" LOL.

When I met Michael in 1996, there was a small group of us invited upstairs to meet him. In the group was this small child, a little girl probably about 2-3 years old. Sooo Michael comes waltzing into the room looking hot as always but with one of those black silk masks on his face.

He walks right up to the little girl and tries to shake her hand and she starts backing away from him cautiously, so Michael moves closer to her extending his hand and shes backing uppp against her mothers legs and her face looks like shes really scared and about to cry! *lol* And Michaels like "Come onnnnn...its okaaaay.. come onnnnn, come heeere" in a real soft gentle voice. Hes motioning with his hands for her to come to him. Trying to coax her like a little kitten or something ahahahahaha!! But shes still scared of him and shes not budging and Im standing there thinking Miiiiichael maaaybe if you TOOK OFF YOUR MASK you might not look so scary to her ahahaha!! Im half expecting him to pull a candy out of his pocket and start waving it in front of her face to entice her!

But you know Michael doesnt give up easy so he then drops to his knees on the floor in front of the little girl and opens his arms out reeal wide as far as they will go and hes like "Come onnnnn, dont I get a huuuuuuug!? Pleeeease? Just one huuug?" and she looks at him and kinda takes one step towards him cautiously and Michaels like "Yeeeeeah come onnnnnn, dont be scared! " and hes doing these adorable faces at her, like raising his eyebrows up and down and smiling..... after much coaxing by Michael she finally comes to him and he grabs her real fast so she cant escape and hugs her like a teddy bear! Soooo cute!

Then the little girl had drawn a picture for him and I guess Michael had been eyeing it off for a while cos she didnt even try to show it to him, it was folded up tight in her hand and I guess he was curious cos it was HIM that asked "Ohhhhh whats this!? Is this for MEEE?" and so the girl opens up the piece of paper and shes drawn a picture of a man in colored crayons and Michaels still on his knees on the carpet and he goes "Awwwwwww loook! Is this meeee!? Woooooow!" he holds up the page in front of him and says "This is meeee!" with his eyes really wide and a huge smile on his face and the girl nods her head and he admires the drawing thoughtfully to himself and sighs and says "Its beeeeeeautifuuuuul!" Sooooo funny!!

In the meantime, myself and the rest of the fans gathered were just like Michael come onnn, youre already over an hour late for your next appearance, thousands of people are waiting on your ass in the sweltering heat and we want some time with you, get up off that floor and stop admiring yourself in the drawing ahahaha!!

He is just sooooo funny and he doesnt even realise it!! All he cared about was how good he looked in the drawing! Hahahahaha!

I remember in one of Uri's many dumb blogs about MJ, Uri said MJ and them were all stuck in traffic, i guess. And someone suggested that they do a sing a long to pass the time. Michael said, "Does anyone here no how to sing??" Then everyone in the car, including MJ, busted out laughing for a few minutes lol

I think that was that british journalist J5 master. Remember, when he wrote that article about spending the week with Michael when he was preparing to give his speech at Oxford University, he said on the way to the University, to give his speech, they were running late, and the journalist, (I think his name is Johnathan Moragolis or something like that) said he cracked a joke after Michael complained that the music was too loud, saying "Well, can anyone here sing?" He said there was a silence for a few seconds and he wished he hadn't said anything, and then Michael burst out laughing, and so did everyone else.

the VIRGIN SIGNING. There are two instances. While he was signing autographs, YRMW was on. And the fans were singing it, but when it came to the bridge, they started singing REALLY loud. They went like, "That's why i always have to have you heeeerree, WHOO!!!" And then right afterwards, MJ pumped his fist in the air and went "WHOO!!" as well But he did that really loud and suddenly, and NOT when everyone else was singing, so he looked kinda embarrased and went back to signing. And then, seconds later he started laughing at himself, and mocked himself again going "whoo!" lol I thought that was cute.


Well i just got back from the taping, and i just want to say Michael seemed in really good spirits. I had a chance to meet him, and meet his kids, they are really well behaved well educated kids, it really is amazing how "normal" the family is. Well, i just thought id let you know how it went. Michael had a good entourage of people around him, but overall he seemed very friendly and family like with everyone, Him and geraldo talked for a good 45 minutes before even starting the interview, he laughed with him and Michael even told a couple jokes, which i found to be pretty amusing. I wont lie to you, based on what I've heard and watched solely on Television and not even my own personal research, When i was told i was going to be doing this job, i really thought Michael was guilty... I sincerely went in there with the idea i was going to see this weird guy doing weird things, Meeting Michael and actually conversing with him totally changed my opinion on the guy, I can sincerely tell you now that no matter what anybody tells me, i am 100% sure that he did NOT do it... now i see why you are so involved in getting the word out and just overall letting people know that you believe the guy, He is so down to earth, so humble and so "normal" that i never imagined him being this way. I came home and told Debra (my wife) that i had a total change of heart, and i now see how the media has pursued this man unfairly throughout the years. I really hope mike is vindicated because i sincerely believe he would never harm a child. Anyhow, the whole experience was something else, like i said , I did meet Michael and his children, We talked about music for a while and I asked him if he had any plans on touring any time soon. He said, its up in the air, with all that's going on right now he doesn't really think about it as much as he wishes he could, he said music is his life and that's something no-one can take away from him. He is a real joker and a huge flirt with the girls, he kept making everyone in the studio laugh. It was a good feeling to see him go back to the music.

MJ: "In the past month I've gone from where is he to here he is again" Together with Janet.

Oh yeah, right, I rememebre that!!!! And actually, even if funny, that was not really a joke, but the truth lol!!! Indeed, when he released his BAD album he was like on the tv every damn day, all the time, everywhere, in commercials (pepsi long commercials, LA gears shoes, in a kind of a weird bike commercial, all those short movies, plus Moonwalker, concerts around the world, awards, I even saw the 2300 Jackson street short movie when the Jacksons released an album without him...) etc. And then suddenly it was the "Pump up the jam" period and Techno style music, and people weren't seeing MJ on tv as much as before. So he simply disappeared, but actually was preparing a new album. And we were all waiting this new album for over four years!!! And then it was a bomb! DANGEROUS!!! And then again, clip after clip, black or white, remember the time, in the closet, jam, who is it, will you be there, heal the world, give in to me, .... interview with Oprah, again concerts after concerts, he was BACK, just as he said, public was like "WHERE HE IS??? HERE HE IS AGAIN (said as the public was again almost exasperated to see him rock the world and tv channels lol!!!) But unfortunately it didn't last as long as when he released BAD, because this f*****g Snedum brought made-up charges and tried to ruin MJ's career. This also led pepsi to stop promoting MJ until all is solved. And in the past dozen years the whole mess/case although arranged financially didin't seem to be solved and was sort of pending for years and world was in doubt, they didn't see Michael Jackson as before, cuz tabloids managed to write dirty stories on him, even more than in the 80s!

1] scrap from MJ with Barbara Walter [Era History]
BW: If your son shows any talent - by the way does he show any talent at nine months?
MJ: Well, I'll tell you this much...when he's crying, to keep him from crying, I have to do one thing.
BW: What?
MJ: I have to stand in front of him...and dance.
BW: Really?
MJ: Yes. And he stops crying. His tears turn to laughter, and he's happy. (claps his hands) He smiles.
BW: And do you do your moonwalk with him?
MJ: Yeah. I do all kind of movements (imitates his dancing) (laughs)
BW: And then he stops crying?
MJ: And then he stops crying!
BW: You must do a lot of dancing.
MJ: (laughs) I do a lot of dancing, yes.

2] scrap from Gold Magazin Interview (2002) z dnia: 01-07-2002
GG: If You were invisible for a day in London, what would you do?
MJ: Oh boy. Who would I like to slap? Let me see {laughs}... I think I'd find one of the tabloid paparazzi and kick his ass, moonwalk style . I'd really like to knock them off one of those little scooters they ride around on, I really would, knock the cameras right out of their hands. They're so annoying. I'd go for them first, yeah. They drive you nuts. You can't get away from them. It's terrible.

HAHN: (...) That was when he had Bubbles and Michael Jackson asked me to sign a "Playboy" and he said, "Jess, listen to me. I know it's going to be rough," because I was new to this. He goes, "I know it's going to be hard on you, but just understand one thing: It's all going to be OK. They are going to come like scavengers. The press is going to come after you, but it's going to be OK. And by the way, will you sign a "Playboy." I said, "I'd be more than happy to."
I was -- and I've got to be honest. I am happy he is out.

KING: You were rooting for him.

HAHN: I am rooting for him because I feel like I've been blackmailed and I feel like that many times, people attack the well, you know, well-to-do people and they see an opportunity.

1) 'This is Muscles and I've trained him to eat interviewers'

2) from Mexico...
L: “What were the circumstances in which you started making exhibit 489?”
MJ: “Well, just a tape recorder there and making sounds like *beat boxing* *starts singing* every night she walks right in my dreams…”
Prosecutor: “Objection! Objection!”
MJ: *continues to sing* “Says I met her from the start…”
P: “I have an objection. I have an objection.”
MJ: *Fades out staarrt* *Moves hair from face and puts it right back where it was*
MJ: “Well…that’s how I did it.” *smiling*
L: “How…how did you um…how did you come to um…you may have told me already but let me…I…I don’t think you did. How did you come to get the song...”
MJ: *licking corners of mouth with tongue*
L: “…. the music on exhibit 489 in mind?”
MJ: “Like I said before…songs create themselves, it just come out of me. It just come from inside…out. And I think I’m just a source through which it comes and uh…You asked me how I created and I started to perform to give you an example of how it’s done, of how I create songs and when I create my music I make these sounds. I wrote a song called ‘Who Is It’…”
P: “Objection!”

Source: MJPolishTeam Forum. Autorized by: Cicha.

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